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A new Self Portrait! It’s been a while. And as it goes, I’m going to ramble underneath it. Fair Warning… it’s long.
So ever since I grew up from being a waifish 17 year old (www.flickr.com/photos/shutr/2542339986/in/set-72157600200… , www.flickr.com/photos/shutr/2405962480/in/set-72157600200… , www.flickr.com/photos/shutr/2166814356/in/set-72157600200… circa 2008) , it started to get harder to use myself in my images. And this was what sparked my photography originally. Being a part of the entire creative process was addictive – and pretty satisfying to the ego. To BE the art you’re creating – is just a great feeling.
But I havent felt that way for years. And it’s good – I’ve learned the absolute joys of photographing others – it’s much more creative & interesting to be behind the camera, and your ego can jog on. But I’d be lying if I said I didnt always want to be the star now and again- to make images of myself that I couldn’t stop looking at because they looked straight out of my dreams.
Naturally I have to mention my body issues – I’m no longer a little perfect silhouette that just fits whatever concept I come up with. I just don’t naturally visualize images with my figure in mind, which equally frustrates and depresses me!
Anyway, I’m hoping to get back into a comfortable body, I’m 20% there! Thanks to a generous Ben Dunne Gym membership deal, now I’ve all got to do is the rest (the hard bit.) But I hope by this time next year I’ll have a body I can find beautiful again. (and it won’t be waif-like, I like curves! Just in the right places…)
SO, this image? I went out yesterday and very quickly found full-length images to be impossible. without a remote, bad clothes, walking through a river etc etc, but instead of giving up I just started to flick my hair around. And suddenly, just by looking at the photos on the back of the camera, I started feeling good about it. The Ego was back!
So that incredibly long ramble just leads me to this photo. I thought it was fun. And I like to look at myself in it. And that is EXACTLY what I want my clients to feel about the photos I take of them. So today, I had a very happy customer.
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